Hi Everyone.....
Just an update to let you know that I have nothing yet to update. :(
Hopefully I will get my approval confirmation this week. It's been 3.5 weeks so far. Maybe that time frame is normal, I have no idea. It's such a helpless feeling to be in limbo, ya know? Someone I am in contact with had to wait 6 months for her answer!! But she had special circumstances in her case, as she was a returning resident. I'm hoping I won't have to wait that long.
Every day that passes is one day closer to the end of one process and the beginning of another, no matter what they decide.
Sending out positive energy in the form of prayers..... :)
I'll be in touch!
All the best,
Ali
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Interview With My Shaliach
Here are the details of my experience. Your mileage may vary! :)
Well, I survived! I can happily say that navigating the streets of San Francisco was more intimidating than the interview!
Parking was the hardest issue of the appointment. *IF* you can find a spot on the street, it runs $5 an hour. Or you can squeeze into a sardine like underground parking garage where the attendant must be a whiz at Tetris. Crazy. Proximity comes with a price, though. $28 for 2 hours. Not to mention toll bridge charges there and back.
All in all, it was a positive experience. After being buzzed in to the building and walking through the metal detectors, I went up to my Shaliach's office. He met me in the hallway with a warm smile and a handshake. I sat across from his desk, where had all of my information on his computer screen. First question came out of the blue: Do I have a criminal record? It was such an unexpected question and it kinda startled me. In retrospect, I guess that's the point. I said, "No, just a speeding ticket from about 20 years ago!" to which he replied, "Join the crowd!"
From there, it began with questions about my childhood-where I was born, where I grew up, and then employment history. Jewish background, level of observance, medical questions, marriage/divorce/child custody questions, and then it led into travel to Israel, what are my plans after making Aliyah (housing/job opportunities/schooling) and the last question, WHY do you want to make Aliyah?
He took notes in Hebrew, recording my answers to forward on to their office in Jerusalem. Then one by one, he asked for the hard copies of the documents that I had uploaded online. I watched as he held my birth certificate, passport, letter from my Rabbi, etc., against what he was seeing on his screen.
The only thing he asked for me to provide additionally, are statements from my doctors explaining what my medications are, how they work/what they are used for, and that they are aware that I am moving out of the country.
He said the "investigation" (background check? Wire taps? E-files? :) should take 2-3 weeks and that he would call me personally with a "Mazal Tov" if I get the A-OK. Then I will be able to book my NBN flight immediately. I will have an additional meeting with him before my flight for the processing of my Israeli Visa/Israeli ID card. THAT'S when they want your passport photos, not at the initial interview. I have the option of having it mailed to me (a 3 week wait) or making my appointment on a Wednesday, and then walking over to the Israeli Consulate, where they will process it right then and there. I think I will choose Door #2.
That was it! The whole meeting lasted about 35 minutes.
I will post again after I receive his phone call. Think positive, right? ;)
Aliana
Well, I survived! I can happily say that navigating the streets of San Francisco was more intimidating than the interview!
Parking was the hardest issue of the appointment. *IF* you can find a spot on the street, it runs $5 an hour. Or you can squeeze into a sardine like underground parking garage where the attendant must be a whiz at Tetris. Crazy. Proximity comes with a price, though. $28 for 2 hours. Not to mention toll bridge charges there and back.
All in all, it was a positive experience. After being buzzed in to the building and walking through the metal detectors, I went up to my Shaliach's office. He met me in the hallway with a warm smile and a handshake. I sat across from his desk, where had all of my information on his computer screen. First question came out of the blue: Do I have a criminal record? It was such an unexpected question and it kinda startled me. In retrospect, I guess that's the point. I said, "No, just a speeding ticket from about 20 years ago!" to which he replied, "Join the crowd!"
From there, it began with questions about my childhood-where I was born, where I grew up, and then employment history. Jewish background, level of observance, medical questions, marriage/divorce/child custody questions, and then it led into travel to Israel, what are my plans after making Aliyah (housing/job opportunities/schooling) and the last question, WHY do you want to make Aliyah?
He took notes in Hebrew, recording my answers to forward on to their office in Jerusalem. Then one by one, he asked for the hard copies of the documents that I had uploaded online. I watched as he held my birth certificate, passport, letter from my Rabbi, etc., against what he was seeing on his screen.
The only thing he asked for me to provide additionally, are statements from my doctors explaining what my medications are, how they work/what they are used for, and that they are aware that I am moving out of the country.
He said the "investigation" (background check? Wire taps? E-files? :) should take 2-3 weeks and that he would call me personally with a "Mazal Tov" if I get the A-OK. Then I will be able to book my NBN flight immediately. I will have an additional meeting with him before my flight for the processing of my Israeli Visa/Israeli ID card. THAT'S when they want your passport photos, not at the initial interview. I have the option of having it mailed to me (a 3 week wait) or making my appointment on a Wednesday, and then walking over to the Israeli Consulate, where they will process it right then and there. I think I will choose Door #2.
That was it! The whole meeting lasted about 35 minutes.
I will post again after I receive his phone call. Think positive, right? ;)
Aliana
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Interview Day!
Tomorrow (Thursday) will be my interview with the Jewish Agency. It's the last step in my process to make Aliyah. The buck stops with them. I have no idea what to expect. NBN has been most helpful with all of the required paperwork that has been submitted thus far....almost all of which has been scanned and emailed to them. Now I need to take the originals to the appointment with my Shaliach to look over and verify. I have heard that you get the "yes" or "no" answer in the mail within a few weeks of the interview.
I am sure they will ask WHY I want to make Aliyah. It's the most common question I get. But I wonder if they will ask me to recite the V'ahavta or Kaddish or sing something in Hebrew. :)
As I type this, I am not nervous. But earlier today, I did have visions of Ben Gurion Airport Security Personnel and their interrogation techniques. I hope it's not that kind of an environment. : / That's enough to rattle anyone's nerves!
I will have an update in a few days.
Aliana
I am sure they will ask WHY I want to make Aliyah. It's the most common question I get. But I wonder if they will ask me to recite the V'ahavta or Kaddish or sing something in Hebrew. :)
As I type this, I am not nervous. But earlier today, I did have visions of Ben Gurion Airport Security Personnel and their interrogation techniques. I hope it's not that kind of an environment. : / That's enough to rattle anyone's nerves!
I will have an update in a few days.
Aliana
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Hurry Up And Wait!
I took Owen and Jasmine in for their Rabies Titre (FAVN) testing on March 27th. So I should be getting those results in the next 7 days.
I also got all of my required documents submitted to the NBN site for my Aliyah file. Today I received a call back from the Jewish Agency for my face to face Interview. It's the final step in the approval process. My interview will be May 2nd. I hear that the "yes" or "no" from the Jewish Agency can take about 3 weeks after the meeting. Once you have it, my Aliyah Advisor said that I could schedule a flight out the very next day if there was room on an El Al flight! But in reality, within a couple of weeks of the "yes", you could find yourself arriving at Ben-Gurion!
NBN just added a Group flight from LAX, (Los Angeles, CA), but it doesn't leave until July 2nd. My original "plan" (G-d is laughing) was to arrive in March or April. Part of that reason, was to work up to the intensely humid summers in Israel. Been to Florida? It's hotter and more humid than the Sunshine State. I am from an area in the USA where we are known to say: "But it's a DRY heat!" hahaha There IS a difference!! I guess I won't have time for a gradual acclimation regardless of when I fly, May, June, or July!! (Ok, who is playing the violin?!?!?!?)
My Advisor also said that the biggest advantage in going to the Interview is to have a very clear POST ALIYAH plan. If you already have your living arrangements and/or employment secured, you're 'more likely' to be approved for the process. I am fortunate to have both, but I can't walk in thinking I've got this in the bag. I need to prepare myself for "no". Now, a 'no' doesn't mean that I cannot make Aliyah. It simply means that I could not make it with and through the help of NBN and the Jewish Agency. I would have to go to Israel and do it from within. It would take a lot longer and be incredibly frustrating. But I would still do it.
I am also getting estimates from different shipping companies for the cost of sending my personal effects over to Israel. I think I can get by with a 20 foot container. A lot of posts on the NBN Yahoo Group site say just sell everything and buy new or used in Israel. Well, my tastes don't go with the ultra modern, European/IKEA type styles that are readily available there. I prefer my antique furniture. It's an eclectic mix, but each piece is made with such craftsmanship that to me they are individual works of art. And I think being surrounded by what is loved and familiar to me will help ease the transitional stress. When I look at my sofa or dining room table and can "see" my family sitting there, well, call me crazy, but I think it will go a long way in bringing me comfort at being so far away from my biological loved ones.
The prices range from $3500 to $6500 so far for the 20' container. I have contacted 6 companies, and not all of the quotes are in yet. And I am finding that they would prefer a bare minimum of 6 weeks' notice of your intended move, and would rather have a few months' notice. A friend told me that the shipping companies are all extremely competitive, so don't be afraid to negotiate the price. She got $1,000 off of her original quote. When I have all of the information, I may enlist her help in being my Negotiator! hahaha
Well, there you have it. That is what I have been up to since my last post. I was surprised at how many views my site got in my absence!! That was pretty cool! Seems like a lot of folks are planning to travel with pets, as that has been the most viewed page. I hope that documenting my journey is helping someone! It sure helps relieve my fears and apprehensions (such as they are) to be able to write about the process and "get it out of my head" !! :)
Thanks for stopping by!
Aliana
I also got all of my required documents submitted to the NBN site for my Aliyah file. Today I received a call back from the Jewish Agency for my face to face Interview. It's the final step in the approval process. My interview will be May 2nd. I hear that the "yes" or "no" from the Jewish Agency can take about 3 weeks after the meeting. Once you have it, my Aliyah Advisor said that I could schedule a flight out the very next day if there was room on an El Al flight! But in reality, within a couple of weeks of the "yes", you could find yourself arriving at Ben-Gurion!
NBN just added a Group flight from LAX, (Los Angeles, CA), but it doesn't leave until July 2nd. My original "plan" (G-d is laughing) was to arrive in March or April. Part of that reason, was to work up to the intensely humid summers in Israel. Been to Florida? It's hotter and more humid than the Sunshine State. I am from an area in the USA where we are known to say: "But it's a DRY heat!" hahaha There IS a difference!! I guess I won't have time for a gradual acclimation regardless of when I fly, May, June, or July!! (Ok, who is playing the violin?!?!?!?)
My Advisor also said that the biggest advantage in going to the Interview is to have a very clear POST ALIYAH plan. If you already have your living arrangements and/or employment secured, you're 'more likely' to be approved for the process. I am fortunate to have both, but I can't walk in thinking I've got this in the bag. I need to prepare myself for "no". Now, a 'no' doesn't mean that I cannot make Aliyah. It simply means that I could not make it with and through the help of NBN and the Jewish Agency. I would have to go to Israel and do it from within. It would take a lot longer and be incredibly frustrating. But I would still do it.
I am also getting estimates from different shipping companies for the cost of sending my personal effects over to Israel. I think I can get by with a 20 foot container. A lot of posts on the NBN Yahoo Group site say just sell everything and buy new or used in Israel. Well, my tastes don't go with the ultra modern, European/IKEA type styles that are readily available there. I prefer my antique furniture. It's an eclectic mix, but each piece is made with such craftsmanship that to me they are individual works of art. And I think being surrounded by what is loved and familiar to me will help ease the transitional stress. When I look at my sofa or dining room table and can "see" my family sitting there, well, call me crazy, but I think it will go a long way in bringing me comfort at being so far away from my biological loved ones.
The prices range from $3500 to $6500 so far for the 20' container. I have contacted 6 companies, and not all of the quotes are in yet. And I am finding that they would prefer a bare minimum of 6 weeks' notice of your intended move, and would rather have a few months' notice. A friend told me that the shipping companies are all extremely competitive, so don't be afraid to negotiate the price. She got $1,000 off of her original quote. When I have all of the information, I may enlist her help in being my Negotiator! hahaha
Well, there you have it. That is what I have been up to since my last post. I was surprised at how many views my site got in my absence!! That was pretty cool! Seems like a lot of folks are planning to travel with pets, as that has been the most viewed page. I hope that documenting my journey is helping someone! It sure helps relieve my fears and apprehensions (such as they are) to be able to write about the process and "get it out of my head" !! :)
Thanks for stopping by!
Aliana
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Making Aliyah With Pets--Plan Ahead!
This part of the Aliyah process creates more than a little stress! On one hand, you worry about getting your own paperwork submitted and approved, and now you have another rabbit trail to follow to get everything necessary for your animals to travel with you as well!
I have two cats. My furry friends are brother and sister, almost 10 years old. One was abandoned by her mother (a feral cat) in the crawl space under my Craftsman house in 2003. When I located the source of the insistent "meows", I found a little black kitten with her eyes still closed. They opened up later that day, so I figured she was about 10 days old.
I fed her pet milk from a doll bottle. I can't explain the attachment you get to something that is so helpless. I saw the other 5 kittens in and around the yard. She was clearly the runt of the litter and appeared to have some issue with her hip or her hind leg. Obviously her bio mom left her to die. But she was such a little fighter!!
After about 10 days, I went out into the yard to find a sibling for her. 4 of them were calico kittens. They each hissed at me when I tried to reach down to pick them up. Then I saw him. The fluffy, gray kitten. He was off in a corner alone. I reached down for him and he just stared back at me with those kitten steel blue-grey eyes. No hissing, no scratching, no fear. I pulled him up to my neck and said, "Do you want me to love you?" and he just started purring.
Owen and Jasmine have been a huge part of my life since then. My kids say I love the cats more than them, ha ha! I don't love them MORE, but it's clearly a love that is just as strong, but in a slightly different way.
OK, that was the back story. Feral kittens that are now domesticated. They have had regular check ups and vaccinations. They have even flown with me to Israel a few times. So I was already used to THAT required paperwork. But now, it's much more intensive and the steps must be done in the proper order. And it's not cheap. Let me share with you what my cats need done, and what has been accomplished so far.
First off, you won't be able to go to Israel on a US Airways flight, as they don't allow pets. I was on a webinar last week and double checked if that policy was restricted to in-cabin pets, and was told "they don't do pets, in the cabin or in the cargo hold." All righty then! So that means you must be on an El-Al flight if making Aliyah with pets. I've never flown either airline yet, so I'm learning their policies as I go along.
I called my Vet with all of the requirements that Israel needed for import. I got an estimate back: $700 PER CAT--and that was a discount on their usual fee schedule. Yikes!
Here is the breakdown PER cat:
1. Routine Exam $40
2. Rabies Vaccine (1yr) $23.60
3. FVRCP Annual Vaccination $10.00
4. ISO MIcrochip $52.00
5. Office Visit-Doctor 4 weeks after implantation $25.00
6. Rabies Titre-FAVN $356.00 (takes 3-4 weeks to get results)
7. Routine Exam no sooner than 10 days before travel $40.05
8. International Health Certificate $126.18 no sooner than 10 days before travel
Oh but wait! There's more!! After that's all said and done, and within the 10 days of your flight, your paperwork must be certified by the USDA. Go to www.aphis.usda.gov to find the location nearest where you live. Note that you may have to travel out of state, like I do. What I did find out today, is that they just need to certify the paperwork, they do NOT need to see your animals!! :) Make sure your Vet has the NVAP accreditation! Everything you do may be for naught without this certification on your paperwork!
Needless to say, that's quite a chunk of change. I decided I must cut corners wherever I could. I found that the SPCA was doing a vaccination clinic last month. I took Jasmine and Owen, and they received 3 year rabies shots for just $15 per animal. Cha-Ching! Saved $310.80 there averaged over 3 years. Then, amazingly, my county was offering FREE MICROCHIPPING for a limited time. I called to ask what frequency of chip they were implanting, and was told they only use the ISO standard...which is the frequency that Israel requires. Cha-Ching!! Saved $154 thanks to County Animal Control Services!!
I still need to have the Rabies Titre done for both cats. I haven't been able to find a break on that test. Another Vet in town that I called charged $500 each to do it! All of the samples from the USA go to Kansas State University. From there, the results can take up to a month. NOTE: The Titre test cannot be done sooner than 30 days after the last Rabies vaccination, AND the ISO Microchip must already be implanted before the blood sample is drawn.
Next week I can take them for their Rabies Titre test. I wish the test was not so costly, but I must do it if they are to come with me. Then ten days before I leave, I will take them for their travel exam and have the Vet fill out the International Health Certificate which you can print off of the website I listed above. Even though my region's USDA office is in another state, it's just a 3 hour drive from where I live, so I can get it done all in one day. I have no idea what THEIR fee will be to certify it, but when I find out, I will update this page.
I have two cats. My furry friends are brother and sister, almost 10 years old. One was abandoned by her mother (a feral cat) in the crawl space under my Craftsman house in 2003. When I located the source of the insistent "meows", I found a little black kitten with her eyes still closed. They opened up later that day, so I figured she was about 10 days old.
I fed her pet milk from a doll bottle. I can't explain the attachment you get to something that is so helpless. I saw the other 5 kittens in and around the yard. She was clearly the runt of the litter and appeared to have some issue with her hip or her hind leg. Obviously her bio mom left her to die. But she was such a little fighter!!
After about 10 days, I went out into the yard to find a sibling for her. 4 of them were calico kittens. They each hissed at me when I tried to reach down to pick them up. Then I saw him. The fluffy, gray kitten. He was off in a corner alone. I reached down for him and he just stared back at me with those kitten steel blue-grey eyes. No hissing, no scratching, no fear. I pulled him up to my neck and said, "Do you want me to love you?" and he just started purring.
Owen and Jasmine have been a huge part of my life since then. My kids say I love the cats more than them, ha ha! I don't love them MORE, but it's clearly a love that is just as strong, but in a slightly different way.
OK, that was the back story. Feral kittens that are now domesticated. They have had regular check ups and vaccinations. They have even flown with me to Israel a few times. So I was already used to THAT required paperwork. But now, it's much more intensive and the steps must be done in the proper order. And it's not cheap. Let me share with you what my cats need done, and what has been accomplished so far.
First off, you won't be able to go to Israel on a US Airways flight, as they don't allow pets. I was on a webinar last week and double checked if that policy was restricted to in-cabin pets, and was told "they don't do pets, in the cabin or in the cargo hold." All righty then! So that means you must be on an El-Al flight if making Aliyah with pets. I've never flown either airline yet, so I'm learning their policies as I go along.
I called my Vet with all of the requirements that Israel needed for import. I got an estimate back: $700 PER CAT--and that was a discount on their usual fee schedule. Yikes!
Here is the breakdown PER cat:
1. Routine Exam $40
2. Rabies Vaccine (1yr) $23.60
3. FVRCP Annual Vaccination $10.00
4. ISO MIcrochip $52.00
5. Office Visit-Doctor 4 weeks after implantation $25.00
6. Rabies Titre-FAVN $356.00 (takes 3-4 weeks to get results)
7. Routine Exam no sooner than 10 days before travel $40.05
8. International Health Certificate $126.18 no sooner than 10 days before travel
Oh but wait! There's more!! After that's all said and done, and within the 10 days of your flight, your paperwork must be certified by the USDA. Go to www.aphis.usda.gov to find the location nearest where you live. Note that you may have to travel out of state, like I do. What I did find out today, is that they just need to certify the paperwork, they do NOT need to see your animals!! :) Make sure your Vet has the NVAP accreditation! Everything you do may be for naught without this certification on your paperwork!
Needless to say, that's quite a chunk of change. I decided I must cut corners wherever I could. I found that the SPCA was doing a vaccination clinic last month. I took Jasmine and Owen, and they received 3 year rabies shots for just $15 per animal. Cha-Ching! Saved $310.80 there averaged over 3 years. Then, amazingly, my county was offering FREE MICROCHIPPING for a limited time. I called to ask what frequency of chip they were implanting, and was told they only use the ISO standard...which is the frequency that Israel requires. Cha-Ching!! Saved $154 thanks to County Animal Control Services!!
I still need to have the Rabies Titre done for both cats. I haven't been able to find a break on that test. Another Vet in town that I called charged $500 each to do it! All of the samples from the USA go to Kansas State University. From there, the results can take up to a month. NOTE: The Titre test cannot be done sooner than 30 days after the last Rabies vaccination, AND the ISO Microchip must already be implanted before the blood sample is drawn.
Next week I can take them for their Rabies Titre test. I wish the test was not so costly, but I must do it if they are to come with me. Then ten days before I leave, I will take them for their travel exam and have the Vet fill out the International Health Certificate which you can print off of the website I listed above. Even though my region's USDA office is in another state, it's just a 3 hour drive from where I live, so I can get it done all in one day. I have no idea what THEIR fee will be to certify it, but when I find out, I will update this page.
The Cycle of Life.....Includes Death
My dear friend Hannah died on Friday, March 1st. She had been fighting breast cancer since 1999. She had a 5 year remission at one point, but it came back. And then it was one recurrence after another.
I would go with her to her chemo treatments. The drugs that targeted the cancer really took a toll on her. She was on a 3 week interval for one of her infusions, and out of the 21 days, she only felt "good" for 2 of them. When that treatment cycle ended, the cancer came roaring back. They put her on a different drug that was adminstered weekly. But she still felt miserable.
After 14 years of battling her disease, she decided to end treatment. She said she was "sick and tired of being sick and tired".
After a brief hospital stay for a kidney issue, she went home to be on Hospice.
Hannah seemed weak, but still herself, while she was in the hospital for those 5 days. I had gone to visit her again on Monday the 25th but arrived to an empty room. The nurse said she had just been discharged to go home. I texted her to make sure she went straight home and was up for company. My last text from her read: You can come. Sorry we missed you. I will be good for not much else than sleeping. Look forward to seeing you. Hugs! H.
But when I got there, she was already not her usual self. She was exhausted like nothing I had seen before. The next day, Tuesday, she was very combative with her husband. She did not want to take her medications or have anyone be near her. I had never seen that behavior from her. Hannah kept taking off her oxygen cannula, and the nurse said to honor her wishes, if she didn't want to use it, don't force her to. Her sister called me that night and said she would be there on Friday. I told her that I think she should come sooner rather than later. Hannah's sister and daughter drove from California the next day. I'm so glad they came.
Thursday, Hannah started receiving the liquid morphine. For some strange reason, it "brought her back" to us, even if it was just for little spurts of lucidity. She looked at my royal blue shirt and said, "Pretty!" as she was rubbing the sleeve with her fingers....then she asked me "where?" I got it. "At Goodwill, our favorite clothing store, of course!" I said with a smile.
We tried to play music for her, but she always got very agitated and would utter, "No! No! No!". One would think that music would be soothing....but Hannah did not want it at all.
She asked her daughter, "I'm dying, aren't I?" At first, her daughter told her 'yes', as we were told to only deal in the truth with the patient. Hannah didn't like that answer at all! "Oh yeah? Who says I'm dying? Who says???" Her daughter quickly turned it around to "Mom, what I mean is that we're ALL dying....everyone is going to die someday!". That calmed Hannah down a bit. But from there on out, she didn't want to take the liquid morphine....until her daughter convinced her that it was vitamins full of antioxidants that were gonna make her better. She hated lying to her, but it was the only way to keep her comfortable as the disease raged uncontrolled throughout her body.
Later that night, she wanted to know what was going on. "Why is everyone in my room?!? Something is going on!" Her sister told her that we were just having a little family reunion, that's all.
Friday, March 1st. Her breathing was quite deliberate now. She didn't seem to be so restless as she had been before. She was no longer plumping pillows or changing postions on the bed...it was all she could do to just breathe.
We spent Friday afternoon all around her in her bedroom. We took turns getting into bed and lying next to her. Stroking her head and her "crew cut" hairdo...it had grown out a little since she shaved it a few months prior. (For some reason the chemo hadn't caused it to fall out.) We hugged her, talked to her, and stroked her back and rubbed her arms. We'd reach down and hold her hand. Although she appeared to be asleep, certain words/names seemed to evoke something inside of her that would cause her breathing to change. Especially names. She was so concerned about her husband and how he would deal with her death. Every time I said his name, her chest would rise and her breathing would quicken. I reassured her that we were all going to look after him and that she need not worry. Then she would relax and the breathing would slow down again.
The Hospice nurse arrived at 3:45pm. She took Hannah's vitals. She suggested that we change her clothes, as she had been wearing the same nightgown for 4 days. (Hannah would not let us change her clothes earlier in the week....but now she was too weak to argue with the nurse.) We found a pretty purple tie-dyed sundress to put her in.....purple was her favorite color. Her sister and daughter assisted the nurse.
We all came back into the room. It was about 4:10pm or so. She looked so pretty. We all seemed to realize that we were in the presence of her last moments on earth. She looked around the room and then would close her eyes. This went on for a few minutes. Suddenly, she opened her eyes, but she had a slightly frightened look on her face. She looked right at me. I told her, "Hannah, we are all here because we love you. You have been a faithful wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother and friend. We don't want you to be in any more pain. Don't stay here for us---we want you to be out of your misery. We will all take care of Tim, so don't worry. You can go now. We love you so much!"
And with that, she left us. It was 4:18pm.
I'm glad that she is no longer suffering. But the world seems a little darker since her departure. Goodbye Hannah, the 'big sister' I only had for a short while. I still can't believe that you are gone, and I miss you, my friend.
I would go with her to her chemo treatments. The drugs that targeted the cancer really took a toll on her. She was on a 3 week interval for one of her infusions, and out of the 21 days, she only felt "good" for 2 of them. When that treatment cycle ended, the cancer came roaring back. They put her on a different drug that was adminstered weekly. But she still felt miserable.
After 14 years of battling her disease, she decided to end treatment. She said she was "sick and tired of being sick and tired".
After a brief hospital stay for a kidney issue, she went home to be on Hospice.
Hannah seemed weak, but still herself, while she was in the hospital for those 5 days. I had gone to visit her again on Monday the 25th but arrived to an empty room. The nurse said she had just been discharged to go home. I texted her to make sure she went straight home and was up for company. My last text from her read: You can come. Sorry we missed you. I will be good for not much else than sleeping. Look forward to seeing you. Hugs! H.
But when I got there, she was already not her usual self. She was exhausted like nothing I had seen before. The next day, Tuesday, she was very combative with her husband. She did not want to take her medications or have anyone be near her. I had never seen that behavior from her. Hannah kept taking off her oxygen cannula, and the nurse said to honor her wishes, if she didn't want to use it, don't force her to. Her sister called me that night and said she would be there on Friday. I told her that I think she should come sooner rather than later. Hannah's sister and daughter drove from California the next day. I'm so glad they came.
Thursday, Hannah started receiving the liquid morphine. For some strange reason, it "brought her back" to us, even if it was just for little spurts of lucidity. She looked at my royal blue shirt and said, "Pretty!" as she was rubbing the sleeve with her fingers....then she asked me "where?" I got it. "At Goodwill, our favorite clothing store, of course!" I said with a smile.
We tried to play music for her, but she always got very agitated and would utter, "No! No! No!". One would think that music would be soothing....but Hannah did not want it at all.
She asked her daughter, "I'm dying, aren't I?" At first, her daughter told her 'yes', as we were told to only deal in the truth with the patient. Hannah didn't like that answer at all! "Oh yeah? Who says I'm dying? Who says???" Her daughter quickly turned it around to "Mom, what I mean is that we're ALL dying....everyone is going to die someday!". That calmed Hannah down a bit. But from there on out, she didn't want to take the liquid morphine....until her daughter convinced her that it was vitamins full of antioxidants that were gonna make her better. She hated lying to her, but it was the only way to keep her comfortable as the disease raged uncontrolled throughout her body.
Later that night, she wanted to know what was going on. "Why is everyone in my room?!? Something is going on!" Her sister told her that we were just having a little family reunion, that's all.
Friday, March 1st. Her breathing was quite deliberate now. She didn't seem to be so restless as she had been before. She was no longer plumping pillows or changing postions on the bed...it was all she could do to just breathe.
We spent Friday afternoon all around her in her bedroom. We took turns getting into bed and lying next to her. Stroking her head and her "crew cut" hairdo...it had grown out a little since she shaved it a few months prior. (For some reason the chemo hadn't caused it to fall out.) We hugged her, talked to her, and stroked her back and rubbed her arms. We'd reach down and hold her hand. Although she appeared to be asleep, certain words/names seemed to evoke something inside of her that would cause her breathing to change. Especially names. She was so concerned about her husband and how he would deal with her death. Every time I said his name, her chest would rise and her breathing would quicken. I reassured her that we were all going to look after him and that she need not worry. Then she would relax and the breathing would slow down again.
The Hospice nurse arrived at 3:45pm. She took Hannah's vitals. She suggested that we change her clothes, as she had been wearing the same nightgown for 4 days. (Hannah would not let us change her clothes earlier in the week....but now she was too weak to argue with the nurse.) We found a pretty purple tie-dyed sundress to put her in.....purple was her favorite color. Her sister and daughter assisted the nurse.
We all came back into the room. It was about 4:10pm or so. She looked so pretty. We all seemed to realize that we were in the presence of her last moments on earth. She looked around the room and then would close her eyes. This went on for a few minutes. Suddenly, she opened her eyes, but she had a slightly frightened look on her face. She looked right at me. I told her, "Hannah, we are all here because we love you. You have been a faithful wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother and friend. We don't want you to be in any more pain. Don't stay here for us---we want you to be out of your misery. We will all take care of Tim, so don't worry. You can go now. We love you so much!"
And with that, she left us. It was 4:18pm.
I'm glad that she is no longer suffering. But the world seems a little darker since her departure. Goodbye Hannah, the 'big sister' I only had for a short while. I still can't believe that you are gone, and I miss you, my friend.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Life Is What Happens....
.....When you are busy making Aliyah and blogging plans!
I do apologize for such a long absence. Not a day went by that I didn't think, "Oh my, I need to write a post!" That later turned into, "Oh my! I need to explain why I dropped off the face of the earth!"
Ok, Long Story Short: My mother came to town. Need I say more?!?!? :)
But I will say a bit more. She has not been in good health for the last few years. It was a miracle, really, for here to even be here at all.
So there was the pre-mom preparation that most grown children can relate to...as well as the visit itself....and then the post departure details. We spent hours alone together (is that an oxymoron?!!?) as well as visiting with extended family. A great time was had by all.
It was exhausting, however. Probably more so emotionally than physically. Lots of talking and reminiscing. Poring over 70+ years of family photographs that she brought with her. (Priceless!). I know in the future I will treasure this visit with my mom even more than I do right now.
Although each day started with promise, by the end of the day I was totally spent. I felt I had nothing left to give, and my blog went by the wayside. Sorry little blog!
So thanks for hanging in there! I will be back in the 'writing' saddle soon enough.
All the best,
Aliana
I do apologize for such a long absence. Not a day went by that I didn't think, "Oh my, I need to write a post!" That later turned into, "Oh my! I need to explain why I dropped off the face of the earth!"
Ok, Long Story Short: My mother came to town. Need I say more?!?!? :)
But I will say a bit more. She has not been in good health for the last few years. It was a miracle, really, for here to even be here at all.
So there was the pre-mom preparation that most grown children can relate to...as well as the visit itself....and then the post departure details. We spent hours alone together (is that an oxymoron?!!?) as well as visiting with extended family. A great time was had by all.
It was exhausting, however. Probably more so emotionally than physically. Lots of talking and reminiscing. Poring over 70+ years of family photographs that she brought with her. (Priceless!). I know in the future I will treasure this visit with my mom even more than I do right now.
Although each day started with promise, by the end of the day I was totally spent. I felt I had nothing left to give, and my blog went by the wayside. Sorry little blog!
So thanks for hanging in there! I will be back in the 'writing' saddle soon enough.
All the best,
Aliana
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